Part 2 : Unapologetically Me: Getting Over My Fear of Failure

Thank you all for taking the time to read my first post in this series. I am excited to share my thoughts and insights with you all. I am grateful for this opportunity to express myself and hope that my words will inspire you in some way.

In my last post, I said I would share about the changes my company SAA has undergone so far in 2024. But to get to that point we need to take it back to my journey of overcoming postpartum depression in 2023. The rebranding was a result of organic growth and a desire to evolve. Looking back at the challenging year of 2023, I am proud to have come out stronger and to have built a thriving business that reflects my personal growth.

I wish I could go back in time to when Leia was a baby & tell myself that it's ok to get help, it's ok to reach out to someone, that dealing with your mental health is just as important as tending to your children's needs

I for sure suffered from PPD when Leia was born but the challenges I faced when Elliot was diagnosed with autism made me, like a lot of caregivers do, push aside my own needs to fulfill the needs of these tiny humans we set out to raise. When our third child was born at the end of 2022, I realized that I needed to monitor my mental health closely. I did not want to experience the same strain that postpartum depression had on my body, mind, and marriage back when Leia was a baby.

Elliot is the reason I started SAA. He was diagnosed with autism when Leia was 6 months old. Navigating life back then was daunting & I pushed my own mental health aside to care for them

When the signs of severe depression appeared, just as I had anticipated, I didn't hesitate to seek help (with the push from my amazing parents). My OB is wonderful, and I truly believe that he is the reason why we were blessed with one more healthy pregnancy after so many miscarriages. To add to his amazingness he takes great care of women post-birth and saw me right away when I sent him a message saying I might need some help. That same day, I was booked for therapy, and the prescription for Zoloft was called in. I was on my way to feeling a lot better.

Rather than dealing with my mental health I poured everything I had into SAA in the first 2 years. It surely paid off but I knew when Lily was born I needed to treat myself better & not miss so much of her babyhood when the depression set in

But I don't want to give you the impression that meds and therapy worked right away, as it was far from an easy fix. Looking back, I can say that it took me about six months to pick myself up, decide to give my business everything I had again, and push for the changes I knew were necessary.

Reflecting on all that happened in 2023 behind the scenes, I'm damn proud of the changes I've made. Running a business, raising three children, bringing a baby to work with me, and dealing with a platform that was diminishing was absolutely exhausting. But knowing what I know now, I can say that it was all worth it.

I look back now at some of these photos & they feel like an out of body experience - I don't even recall being there. Probably because in my mind I wasn't. I was trying to survive & avoiding the signs to get help

I would like to share some journal prompts that helped me deal with my emotions when I had a lot going on in my life such as work, raising a baby, managing my marriage, and taking care of the kids. I find that making lists is a great way to"declutter my brain", so I have also included some beautiful note pages that you can print, trim, and use to keep yourself organized.

I'm excited to share next week about the changes I made with SAA and the motivation behind them. It's also crucial for me to share not only what I did but also my "why" because that comes straight from my heart.

This is the day I got help. April 13th 2023. I will always remember snapping this photo because it was the first time in a long time (of her short 4 months of life 😆) that I looked at her & realized I would soon ENJOY her, not just survive with her. It was a wonderful feeling. 

Wishing you all a fantastic weekend filled with warmth, sunshine, and the beauty of nature. The birds singing and flowers poking through the dirt here in New England are all so glorious, and I hope whatever you're doing that it brings joy to your day.

Looking forward to seeing you next week!


Back to blog

Leave a comment

1 of 3
  • It's April Again

    Sweet as April started as a blog to document my journey of motherhood while raising two special needs children & battling through secondary infertility. We're on the other side of our infertility journey & excited to keep sharing our lives online, this blog is where we'll continue to do that

    It's April Again 
  • Elleia Made

    I fell in love with watercolors when my son Elliot was born. That was over 10 years ago & since then I have picked up a paintbrush numerous times which has now morphed into an Apple Pencil. Along with SAA I am a surface designer for other brands as well as our own line of merchandise. This blog is a place for me to share every stroke of my "brush" & let you know what's up & coming

    Elleia Made 
  • Sweet As April

    I have been designing bonnets for over 7 years now & never tire of seeing these little hats from to life. This blog is a place for us to share that journey - from BTS, new designs, sales, thoughts & just my every rambles this is a place where you can stay up to date on all things SAA & join our loving community

    Sweet As April 
1 of 3