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I’ve been feeling a little guilty lately - like I’ve abandoned this space. Not intentionally, but the kind of slow fade that happens when life speeds up and your creative routine takes a backseat to… well, everything else.
June was a whirlwind. We had transitions, end-of-year recitals, schedule changes, and even a family vacation (which we desperately needed). And while I have been working on my art, there simply hasn’t been the same time or focus as there was during the school year. You know how it goes - summer arrives, and suddenly everything is sticky, loud, fast-moving, and overflowing. And it’s just too hot to squeeze in one more thing.
In the midst of it all, I applied for a scholarship to a course I was really excited about. One of those “this could be a game-changer” kinds of things. I wasn’t selected as one of the five recipients, and yes - it stung. It always does when you put your heart out there and don’t see it land the way you hoped.
But I keep circling back to that familiar phrase: “You miss every shot you don’t take.”
Maybe this wasn’t the right time. A six-month course during summer chaos might’ve stretched me thinner than I could handle. Maybe this “no” is actually space being made for a better “yes” - one that fits more naturally into my fall rhythm, when Lily starts Head Start and the kids return to a more predictable routine.
Maybe I need to go back to the quiet art of self-study, of following my curiosity instead of a course outline. Maybe this is the stretch I need - not a class, but the discipline of trusting myself with my own growth.
So yes, I’m disappointed. I wish I had the resources to take the course on my own. But I also believe in forward motion - even if it’s slow and winding. I’ll keep moving toward whatever this dream is becoming, even if I’m not entirely sure what the dream looks like yet.
If you’ve felt pulled in a million directions lately too, just know you’re not alone. These seasons come, they stretch us, and somehow they shape us. I’m still here - just a little quieter, a little sweatier, and still creating whenever I can.
More soon. Always with love (and bonnets).
